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Hello and welcome, whether you’re an old twig or a brand-new pig who’s just bought the paperback, or its companion volume, Neris and India’s Idiot-Proof Diet Cookbook (snappy title, no?).

We both know exactly what it’s like to be fat. Not ‘ooh, tragedy, I’ve put on two pounds’ fat, but really fat. Fat-fat. Five stone overweight, size 22, crying on the inside, thigh-rub fat. So we went on a diet, lost 10 stone between us, and we kept it off. You can do it too.

Loads of diets work. That’s not the problem: the problem is sticking to them. It’s all very well knowing you’ll lose weight if you drink meal replacements three times a day, or juice like crazy and snack on sprouted seeds, but how are you supposed to live a normal life at the same time? You can’t – or at least, we can’t. We needed something that would fit into our busy family lives, work lives, social lives – and something that, crucially, wouldn’t make us feel hungry all the time. Or deprived. So we fiddled around with existing diets, tweaked, cherry-picked, added some nice things and took away some gruesome ones, and we came up with our own diet plan. It absolutely 100% works – and it’s absolutely bearable. And now there is a whole book of jaw-droppingly ingenious and delicious recipes to go with it.

Losing weight is a lonely business. Sometimes it’s just you and your fat demons, stuck in an ongoing kind of fatness nightmare. We had each other to bore to death and to encourage and support. This forum can fulfill that function and, hopefully, also make you feel part of something good. There are thousands of us inside – come in and join us. The forumites have lost tonnes – literally – by following this way of eating. You can too (well, maybe not tonnes – but stones, certainly).

(If you’re new, by the way, start by reading the posts labelled “Sticky” at the top of the Forum page – they should answer quite a lot of questions. See you on the inside!)